i dont understand.am i really that insignificant to you?dont i mean anything at all?why did you choose her and not me?why?it doesnt seem fair doesnt seem rite.yes she knew you way before i did.i onli REALLY knew you last dec.but isnt dere something indescribibly special abt our relationship?why do you still seem so indifferent?ive dropped hints every now and then.dont you see it?and yet you still treat me this way.somewhat choosing her over me.why is it dat she can give which i cant?i dont wanna hate you.even if i do i just cant.it's impossible.ure play too important a role in my life.my friend, my leader, the one i respect and admire.i just cant bring myself to hate you or even dislike you for tt matter.i cant totally ignore you either.so what can i do?i really dont know.i just want to play a bigger role in your life.i dont wanna be just one of the many many friends you have.i wanna be THAT special friend.with THAT special title.why cant you understand that?it's not a matter of being in it dats the big deal, it's the fact that im just so small in your heart.like im the least important and everything else is piled on top so you just cant see me.that kinda feeling.and honestly im jealous of her.becos she's got you.i can surpass her in everything but the one thing she'll always have is you.and i hate it this way.
fyi... this has NTH to do wiv bgr.it's more on friendship, trust and betrayal.
ok ive done enuf grumbling.today was actually really nice.started off school wiv our post-exam activity.acutally wanted to change to streetjazz but not allowed.so me bern n stella stuck to hiphop.it was okok la.but half the time we were laughing.we took off our shoes and out our legs on coconut tree la.den we stole her shoes!!hahas.stella ran all the way up to class wiv one of her shoes la.i was nice to return her the other one ((: heex.ne ways the hiphop exercise was really funny la.we had to shruf our sholuders or sth.HAHAS.it was reatarded ok.yea den had 1 hr recess den went to chapel for some discussion thing.it was super funny la!we were allowed to say wad we werent happy abt wiv the school!hahahas.i was abit crazy la.laugh for no reason.heex =D den we went to the hall for the cca verification thing.it was ULTRA BORING!!i was lyk sleeping la.tt mr yee tok n tok n tok like nobody's business la!!after 45 min if boring talk he FINALLY give us our cca paper.yea.den we checked n stuff den i went for science tuition.mrs low wasnt dere.sad sad sad.she's a lazy pig!go take leave for nth!!hahas.so miss chong came in.after 45 min me n chloe were so sleepy we pleaded miss chong to let us play and she AGREED.hahahas.so we played hangman n me n cassandra listened to chloe's ipod.yepps.until lesson ended la!whees ((: den we called mrs low too.hahahas.den i went home to bathe n came bck to united square to send my bro for his piano.i stayed dere till my eng tuition started lor.tuition was ok la.but we had to write our own argumentative essay n i DIN NOE HOW.so i wrote rubbish.hahas.den we were let off PUNCTUALLY.unlike how mrs chan does.yea.den i came home lor.was really upset and disappointed le.haiz.
it pains me to care for you so much and then realise how much you DONT CARE.
stop me9:59 PM
natalie
SAINT MARGS ONEFOUR OHFIVE<33
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1november06 Michelle's Birthday 4november06 Shermin's Birthday 9november06 Bern's Birthday!!/Celebration with dancers(: 14november06 Outing with 2/3-ers(: 15november06 MY BIRTHDAY(: 17november-18november06 GOONG MARATHON :D 22-25november06 Youth Camp 25november06 SHOPPING!With Isabel(: 26november06 Joel's Birthday(:
28november06 Flying off to US.